i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
