If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
