Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
