my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
