you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
