People in love make me want to vomit
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
