Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
