I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
