The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
