Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
