Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
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I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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