That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize