Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Congratulations! We have a period
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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