i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
