SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
