My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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