Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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