You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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