when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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