Don't you send me to vm
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
