I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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