I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
