then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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