note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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