Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
