And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
