im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
