im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
