Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
