Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
