It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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