guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just made my gag reflex go away.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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