I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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