Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
