I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
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Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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