After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
