You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
PANTIES FOUND
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