K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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