she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
there is glitter all over my balls
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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