i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
how does that bad decision feel?
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