The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize