its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
