would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
