Christians are straight up FREAKS
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
