my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
