piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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