I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
