Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
