Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We're too hungover to prance.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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