worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
