I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
