We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
