I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
